how NOT to publish a game

A game I tried out at PAX East 2012, Orion: Dino Beatdown, was just released. While the game felt fairly unpolished on the convention floor, I felt it might be a good (and hopefully cheap!) time-waster for my small group of friendson release  – the way we used to take 30 minutes for a few rounds of CounterStrike:Source or Left 4 Dead.

My friend bought the game at release and confirmed my worst fears: it’s buggier than any other initial release he’s seen, including the venerable ArmA series. Other games recently have been released with some bad bugs, but nothing compares to this massive list, provided by my friend LeeT on IRC:

  • When you run it the first time it does the usual install redist 3rd party stuff. However, the game does not wait for that to finish and launches anyway.
  • It only randomly saves any key bindings, audio or video options.
  • 80% of the time, it never even populates the server list.
  • When it does populate the server list, it will often misreport servers as being full.
  • The server list has clickable headings (map, pop, ping time etc) but doesn’t sort.
  • Refresh button on the server list does nothing.
  • If you join a full server (or server it thinks it’s full) it will show you a dialog saying it’s full with 2 buttons (OK and Close) that do the same thing.
  • The server list has scroll bars that don’t adjust dynamically to the size of the list, so it’s always the same ‘length’
  • On the off chance that it will let you try to join a server, it will usually crash.
  • Assuming you get IN to the game:
  • Lots of crashes to desktop, at random.
  • Sound effects randomly cut out entirely
  • There are 3 classes, but if you select auto-select, it will always set you to assault
  • Balance is off: Wave 1 will be a breeze, wave 2 is like 50 T-rexes.
  • The maps are huge, but the waves are fast and intense so there’s no reason to move from base.
  • In the base, there are objects (equipment stations, etc.) that you can walk right through – no collision.
  • Part of the mechanic is each base has its own generators (out in the open?) and the dinos try to eat them. However, only the raptors will attack them.
  • Dinos clilp halfway into buildings when they’re trying to eat you (and if you’re too close, yes they will attack you, through the wall, and vice versa)
  • Sometimes the hordes of T-rexes etc, will suddenly just wander off for a while (they eventually come back). Bored, I guess?
  • The flying dinos (Pterodactyl things, but they look different) occasionally fly backwards, hover, etc.
  • Vehicles can climb trees
  • AI pathing is beyond broken.
  • The raptors usually jump when they attack you; for hilarity, stand at the edge of a base door opening and watch them try to jump through it
  • If you die, you go into spectator mode and everything is at a 1960s Batman 45 degree angle.
  • When dinos die, they make a human ‘uhh’ sound
  • You’re also supposed to re0spawn at the next wave but that doesn’t work either
  • And the truly ugly:
  • It shipped with parts of the Unreal SDK that are not supposed to be redistributed (MakeISO, “ExampleGame.exe”, etc)
  • If you think that’s bad, it shipped with Maya and Max tool scripts too!
  • Bits of artwork assets (for dinos, equipment and achivements) were allegedly stolen from deviantart and other games. (N.B. They’re supposedly being replaced in today’s “miracle patch.”)

The official Spiral Game Studios explanation for all of this is “a game directory name was changed resulting in some links and connectivity breaking.” No comment.

mr. looper^W cooper^W hooper

Portrait of Mr. Hooper, early Sesame Street character.Today, for the first time, I saw this Sesame Street clip in which the human cast explains to Big Bird that Mr. Hooper has died, and won’t be coming back. If you grew up on early Sesame Street, like I did, you may want to brace yourself for the footage’s emotional impact. A transcript is also available if you can’t view the video, or can’t bring yourself to watch it.

My long-time readers know that I’m a major proponent of the pedagogy behind and execution of the early works of the Children’s Television Sesame Workshop, and that one of my side projects helped push them into releasing some of the old content onto DVD. So why is this the first time that I’ve seen this clip? The truth is, when this first aired, I wasn’t allowed to watch it.

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joanbits 2008.03

As the snow finally melts away, I start to get busier and busier. Here’s what I’ve been up to the past week:

  • Work: supporting new projects as usual, writing position papers, working on newsletters, technical enablement, beta testing.
  • House: cooking every night (pasta from scratch, ramen from scratch, gourmet hamburgers…will try and post some pics soon), planning garden, staring at wall that needs repairing and trying to motivate to fix it, regular cleaning, indoor gardening…
  • School: Developing axiology, epistemology, methodology for design research approach. Gave guest lecture on internal Wikipedia politics.
  • Other: Dealing with horrendous migraine. Developing novel database application. Attended One Of A Kind show with friends and got fabulous clothing, jewelry, housewares. Reverse engineering synth. Looking at motorcycle today. Petting cat to deal with stress from everything else i listed.

owning your online experience

ok, it’s probably painfully obvious at this point that I’m a bit of a net free-speecher – or at least, anti-corporate-net-ownership. [ed: I used to have the word ‘libertarian’ here, but this confused people due to its political overtones. I’m discussing an issue, people, not a political ideology. I’m no more Libertarian than I am Republican or Democrat.]

I hate online profiling, detest advertisements (to the point of not owning a TV!) and generally resist having my activity monitored.

Here’s a quick video if you’re not familiar with this concept, told in allegory:

Do something about it. Visit http://freespeech.org/ourweb/ to find out more. I don’t believe this is about republican vs. democrat, or liberal vs. democrat…again, it’s about owning your own online life and content.