- Have you ever deleted LJ friends because they were being creepy/abusive towards you? (Details appreciated, no names required)
Yes, twice. In one case, I also banned someone from posting to my journal. I’ve had my share of stalkers in the past, and I have to do my best to keep myself safe. People are entitled to their opinions, and if they’re going to slag me in public, I can choose to keep that content off of what amounts to my personal webspace. In other words, if you don’t like me – fine, but take it up with me directly, not through a public forum. If we can’t see eye to eye, we have to agree to disagree, and move on.
Slander and libel are not things to which I take kindly, or lightly.
- When are you coming to visit me in Montreal, girl? :)
So my current plan is to get my instrument rating this summer, if my finances hold out. That means that I’ll be probably flying to Montreal for practice, and I would insist on seeing you.
Further to that, my plan is to have my own aircraft in ~3 years’ time or so, at which time weekend trips to Montreal will become cheaper and easier. :)
And perhaps I’ll make time to explore the VIA Rail System too…
- Do you believe there’s such a thing as being purposefully ignorant? Is that ever a respectable thing to be?
Sure. Here’s a prime example. I have some ex-partners, with whom I don’t really share a lot of common interests. They’re just not the sorts of people with whom I’d enjoy hanging out nowadays. So I don’t avail myself of information regarding their current whereabouts or activities. In fact, I prefer not to know. Sometimes, when I get updates from them, it feels like they are trying to make me feel a certain way (usually negative) by revealing specific kinds of information to me. I really don’t like attempts at non-consentual external manipulation of my feelings.
When it comes down to it, I wish none of them bad lives, failure or sorrow. I want them to find happiness, in whatever way pleases them best — so long as it does not depend on me not being happy. If they want to tell me about their happiness, to share the joy, I’m all for it. But I also hope that they understand that boundaries can be a good thing.
Ultimately, I think this is the meaning behind Robert Frost’s Mending Wall. Yes, “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall.” But respect my boundaries, as I respect yours. We are not all capable of having no boundaries. Miss Manners has made an empassionned plea for boundaries in the workplace entitled In Praise of Boundaries; I think it’s an excellent read.
But I digress.
Inversely, ignorance as a means of preventing yourself from dealing with emotions or beliefs that run contrary to well-accepted theories or provable facts is just a way of sticking your head in the sand. This, to me, is not respectable. It is a form of self-loathing and deprecation. If you can’t trust your own senses and abilities, what can you trust? It is up to each of us to take responsibility for our lives, and to avail ourselves of as much information as possible to make the best of it.
- What’s your opinion of Mardi Gras, as someone who lived in New Orleans?
Ooh, one of my favorite topics! :) Mardi Gras has changed so drastically over the years. For me, it’s a time of secret costume balls, mystical Krewes throwing random parades, beads and doubloon trinkets, “Throw Me Somethin’ Mister!”, dressing up fun, green, purple and gold colors, King Cake, all sorts of fantastic foods, and above all else a desire to have a good, friendly fun time for everyone.
These days it seems to be a corporate-sponsored free-for-all, more about “Show us your tits!” and “Get drunker than hell!” than fun for the whole family. Sure, it’s always been about Bacchanalian fun, but that was never for the sole amusement of frat boys. (And besides, it was a time of year when even as a child I’d get a full glass of wine with dinner!)
Nowadays many of the old societies won’t parade anymore due to forced integration laws — this is less about white elitism and more about organizational infiltration (I wouldn’t come over and legislate me joining your group if you didn’t want me, now, would I? That just makes us enemies, not friends). There’s a casino or two there now as well, one the locals fought to keep from being built for years, only to find it forced on them anyway. And the old, good jazz and dixieland is falling by the wayside as well.
For me, it was always a time of acceptance for all races, all sexual orientations, even all genders, but without having to drive it home: just plain old folk managing to get along for the sake of having a great time.
I do my best to keep this same spirit alive every year by throwing my own Mardi Gras party. This year, it coincides with my 30th birthday. It’s a time for me to share my love of cooking with everyone, to wear masks and costumes, to play good music (both authentic and not authentic), to get a little wild, to let my accent come out, and perhaps to imbibe a little alcohol if it strikes me to do so. It’s a time for relaxed, Southern fun — that’s the point, that’s the spirit, that’s why it will always be special to me.
- How would you describe your friendship style?
Summarized in three words: loyal, opportunistic, and private. (Is this clear?)
Thanks for the great questions! Leave a comment if you want me to interview you, or you want to interview me on other topics.