I have just returned home from a thoroughly exciting long weekend in the San Francisco Bay area…and as it was so jam-packed of activity, thought and inspiration, I’ve decided I must vacation the rest of the week to recuperate. Much was discussed, I made some new friends, and am now more eager, ambitious and driven than ever before.

Question to the masses that still read this thing: When you embark on a new relationship, do you find yourself performing “protocol exchange?” That is, do you have meta discussions regarding the sorts of things you’re looking for in a relationship with someone? If so, when – on your first date/email/IM/etc? On the 17th date? When you decide to get married (e.g., Catholic pre-Cana)? Is it too geeky of me to propose a standard for verbal communication of such things, one that doesn’t feel like you’re filling out a form for a dating service?

2 thoughts on “back

  1. I used to, but protocol exchange from the get-go implicitely predefines the relationship before any empirical evidence has been had, thus leading to disconnect.

    I’ve found that the best way is to let it happen incrementally. There will be some friction, but then the exchange is about real and immediate things, interests and values. If it doesn’t work, it was for good solid reasons, ditto for success.

    The coming into existence of a relationship is an analog process, not a discrete one. ;)

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