I found it — my bondage MIDI cable! Back in the old days of PC sound cards, a special cable shipped with your Sound Blaster. This cable sported 2 MIDI plugs and connected to the joystick port. It also had a passthrough connector for a joystick.

It turns out that you can screw the passthrough plug into the joystick plug, and then screw it closed. You can do this around someone’s neck (if they’re particularly anemic). Then, the MIDI portion makes a GREAT leash.

I kid you not. Jalapeno and Tolim and I had hours of fun leading tsk around the NJ apartment with one of these. He was such a good little….never mind. ;)