Embarassing our subcontractor

So a few weeks ago, one of my coworkers discovered something interesting — on the console of a Windows machine in a client’s rack at a hosting company, we found he was doing google searches on how to eject a cdrom. Pretty embarassing, really!

So we put together a webpage explaining how to get a CD ejected. Turn on Quicktime for the best effect.

The “Even Tanaka-san can understand” series

{quicktime movie of a Sun Netra ejecting a CDROM}

We saw in the IE cache that you were having some trouble, so we thought we might help.

{photo of Solaris 8 Documentation CD}
This is a documentation CD. It has all of the information that you need on it.

{photo of me putting the CD in the Netra}
Here’s how you insert the CD — you understood at least this much, right? Because it’s just common sense.

{closed Netra CD drive}
This is where you started running into problems, right?

{some fake commands he probably typed in to eject the CD, including “toridashite” — open please!}
I’ll bet you started to panic, right?

{fake console, looking for the cdrom manual page}
Sadly, there is no man page for cdrom, right? So…how do you eject the CD?

{console showing the “eject” command}
Just like this. 5 letters. 6 if you cound the carriage return. Simple is best.

{photo of an open Netra CDROM drive}
Easy, right?

Because this is embarassing, you probably want to clear your browser’s cache in the future. When I discovered this, and the client saw you carrying the “How to build a Linux server” manual into the cage, we were more than a little worried…

Right?? Tanaka-san???

(In a comment inside the HTML itself, we left this little surprise: “Tanaka-san, the software engineer who has to use Google to eject a CD…we told all of the engineers in our company about this and had a very pleasant hour laughing. (I laughed so much I nearly had to be sent to the hospital!) Although it’s not the main reason, the fact that you can’t eject a CD is definitely a factor for us dropping you as our subcontractor. Please go away.”)

8 thoughts on “Embarassing our subcontractor

  1. Um, I actually am guilty of not knowing commands like these myself. Now I am very embarrassed.

  2. Well, that’s OK, but I don’t think you’re selling yourself (or your company is selling you) as a Solaris administration expert, are they?

    Or, if they are, you wouldn’t use the console of a rack-based Windows server to go google searching for it, would you?

    And, if you looked it up, you certainly wouldn’t want your company or people you were working for to know about it, right?

    The sheer number of stupid mistakes this guy made on top of other mistakes is insane. No one says you have to be an expert, but certainly don’t leave a trail behind that shows your incompetence, nor should you claim to be more than you really are.

  3. Do you know how much he got paid, and how did he get this job…I think a lot of people will be interested to know…

  4. You serious? Yes, that’s his real name. I think we put an easter egg that will help you contact/locate the individual in the HTML source. Have a gander. How do you know this guy?

  5. Okay okay, take it easy on Tanaka-san. It’s not entirely his fault that he’s a completely incompetent dork that did more damage than what he supposedly fixed. It’s not his fault that his company makes him masquerade as a “professional” in order to charge us US$166 (well, actually 20,000yen) per hour. And to be honest, I think he’s actually learning. I mean, in the past when he couldn’t figure something out, he’d just blankly stare at the machine as if that was gonna do help! So really, we just took the google search one step further to point him in the right direction. ;)


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