I finally got to the toilet paper, but couldn't find the end of the roll.       
I grabbed at the paper, clawing at it, but it felt like smoke. I                
eventually managed to grab a fistful, and looking down at my hand, I            
couldn't see anything, but I knew I had the paper. Somehow. I managed to        
wipe, somehow, and while glancing down I noticed my legs had disappeared.       
Oh, no, it's ok, there they are. No, they've gone again. How the fuck am I      
supposed to wipe when my asshole keeps disappearing?

Liberally taken from matti @ AH