I finally got to the toilet paper, but couldn't find the end of the roll. I grabbed at the paper, clawing at it, but it felt like smoke. I eventually managed to grab a fistful, and looking down at my hand, I couldn't see anything, but I knew I had the paper. Somehow. I managed to wipe, somehow, and while glancing down I noticed my legs had disappeared. Oh, no, it's ok, there they are. No, they've gone again. How the fuck am I supposed to wipe when my asshole keeps disappearing?
Liberally taken from matti @ AH