Question of the day

Can you be friends with your ex? With your partner’s ex?

Can your new partner be friends with your ex?

Six people have announced their departure from my company in the past week. Not a good omen.

6 thoughts on “Question of the day

  1. i went to my ex’s wedding… friends with her and her husband actually… can your ex’s partner be your partner?

    well in a good economy, and depending on size of company, six people is nothing. in a bad economy, maybe it’s really bad i dunno. i don’t really understand the dynamics of japanese employment, domestic or gaijin related.

    is it bad when you want to ask your old company for your job back after you left it for another job a year ago? i need to get employed again, this whole fucking unemployment thing is holding up my life in more ways than a baker’s fucking dozen. :-P

  2. i’m good friends with my last boyfriend. he and i really never went through the whole awkwardness, etc. i wonder if that’s a good thing.

    he & marc tho, get along occasionally.

    c’est la vie.

    why are so many people leaving your company?

  3. My ex is actually my best friend. I love him to death… and I hate that he lives so far from me. He actually asked me to marry him once apon a time. He also lived with Eric and I when we were first engaged, that was interesting. ;)
    My hubby is friends with him too. Although, that friendship isn’t as strong.

    I think that anyone can remain friends after they breakup. It just takes maturity and the ability to forgive whatever caused the detatchment.

  4. I think you can be friends with your ex with enough time. After both parties have gotten over the past relationship and only feelings of friendship remain. I believe the same goes for being friends with your partner’s ex. As long as she/he no longer has feelings for your partner, then I don’t believe there really is an issue but again, the main factor is time.

  5. I think it depends on the two people.

    I could outline ad nauseum what I think some of the conditions are to preclude friendship but it depends on the people.

    I would note, however, that a lot of people seem to have an obsession or at least a preoccupation with the ability to SAY that they are friends with the ex, even if it really isn’t the case. I do define friendship in a way that seems to be different than most, but being able to say “hey wohali, haven’t seen you in awhile, what’s up” is not the same as being “friends”, even if we do choose to call it that after the relationship as ended.

  6. Yeah, most of the people who are leaving are foreigners who’ve been with the company since the beginning, so I guess they’re cutting loose the expensive ex-pats.

    Grovelling for your old job is hard to do, but if you know they need you, spin it. Make THEM beg you to come back by letting them know you’re free…

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