Credit to beaker, #twilight_zone, EFNet

14:30 <@beaker> All of which means one of two things: either it's the goddamn
                finest time in history to be an American, living as we are in
                the age of incredible technology and miracle medicines and
                longer life expectancies and $5 coffee drinks and a happy
                synthetic chemical to match any sort of ache or pain or lump or
                rash or spiritual crisis you might be facing.
14:31 <@beaker> Or it's the absolute worst, what with so many of us heavily
                drugged and over half of us massively obese and IQs dropping
                like stones and our overall quality of life deteriorating right
                under our noses and shockingly huge numbers of us actually
                finding Shania Twain somehow interesting. Which perspective is
                right for you? Ask your doctor.

6 thoughts on “Credit to beaker, #twilight_zone, EFNet

  1. my commie hippie response: i do think we live in a society overburdened by our own ‘acheivements’

  2. Ever since the average price of a coffee drink in the San Francisco Bay Area crossed the fateful $5 threshold, it has been generally acknowledged in the academic journals that from this point on there can be only three possible verdicts regarding today’s society: either 1) it’s the goddamn finest time in history to be an American; or 2) it’s the absolute worst; or 3) it’s somewhere in between.

    However, some of the recent releases from Shania Twain and certain pharmaceutical companies suggest that the latter option may no longer be viable. After all, did we not witness the precipitous drop in IQs — the very same IQs, I might add, that heretofore had been happily floating like pink helium baloons on Valentine’s day? Or how about that notorious study that uncovered a shockingly high correlation between time spent listening to country FM radio stations and overall quality of life. Alas, the jury is still out on whether or not that correlation was actually inverse.

    Like it or not, but in this time of spiritual crisis, rash, lump, pain and ache, each of us is faced with a whole slew of deeply individual, hard questions, such as: Might I be, unsuspectingly, a part of that massively obese half of the population? Am I heavily drugged right now, while I am reading this fine essay? Have I been admiring Shania just a bit more than I should have?

    Still in doubt? Then consult your doctor.

Comments are closed.