Dear Dr. Science

Dear Doctor Science,
Why does my dog howl whenever she hears a siren?

— Bob Fehribach from Sterling Heights, MI

Your dog is simply doing her best to share the pain. She knows all too well that such a siren means that someone, somewhere is in trouble. And being the big-hearted humanitarian all dogs are, she’s a living example of the spirit of compassion Eugene Debs had in mind when he said, “As long as anyone is in prison, I am in prison.” Like Debs, your dog is probably a socialist; unlike Debs, your dog is unlikely to spend time in prison as a result. With the collapse of the Soviet Union, the red scare is finally over. Whittaker Chambers, Woodrow Wilson and Richard Nixon can relax, knowing your dog is howling like a hound in heaven, crying out for social justice.